London Riots

[lozz]

The first conviction has been made of a thug who ransacked DFS. He was given a hefty fine but nothing to pay until 2012 then 4 years interest free credit.


Also a looter was caught on his bike with 50inch tv on his handlebars leaving a riot zone.
He swears its his sat nav.




The rioters prayer

Our father, who art in prison, my mum knows not his name, thy riots come,
read it in "The Sun", in Birmingham as it is in London.
Give us this day our welfare rent & forgive us our looting, as we're happy to loot those who
defend stuff against us
Lead us not into employment but deliver us free housing, for thine is the reebok, the Burberry & the barcadi, forever and
ever....innit



My wife spotted my son amongst the rioters last week.
When he came in she snapped .."Get up them stairs" she shouted, slapping him round the head.
"Mum" he says, "Im not a child anymore"
"I dont care" she replied ... "You never used that baton once! Call yourself a copper?"

[FarmerPug]

The rioters prayer

Our father, who art in prison, my mum knows not his name, thy riots come,
read it in "The Sun", in Birmingham as it is in London.
Give us this day our welfare rent & forgive us our looting, as we're happy to loot those who
defend stuff against us
Lead us not into employment but deliver us free housing, for thine is the reebok, the Burberry & the barcadi, forever and
ever....innit

dammit lozz youve made me laugh so much it hurts.

[lozz]

The Apple store has just been looted, Police are said to be looking for iWitnesses

Should looters come back to Tottenham, Spurs fans are pleading that they take Jermaine Jenas

Have you heard the news? Sony in Enfield are having a fire sale!

A new riot tracking website has been launched, just enter your postcode in www.JDsports.co.uk/store-finder

Dark figures in hoods and masks taking over London – Harry Potter failed, Voldermort is back!

Just got my free Laptop from Currys. Only available in the Tottenham branch though.

CCTV shows a 6 foot 6 inch plank smashing through a shop window in Tottenham. Luckily Peter Crouch is recovering well.


People staying home not going to work in parts of London. They said it’s nice to have an unscheduled holiday like on the strip… the Gaza Strip.

Channel 5 are commissioning a new TV show in the running theme of dangerous jobs. Deadliest Catch: JD Sports Security Guards.

BT saw a spike in demand for broadband in the North London area over the past 2 days. Not people wanting to know the news, just all the looters connecting their new laptops.

A collective in Tottenham have put together a bid for Carlos Tevez. Reports state they are offering 200 LCD TVs, 15 rolls of carpet, 30 Nike Tracksuits and 95 pairs of Reebok classics

There was a lull in the riots at around 9am to midday. It appears they’ve all gone to sign on.

I put a £10 bet on Tottenham to win the EPL this year. Not entirely sure who they are, but the news ticker tells me they’re on fire!

News reports in London branded the rioting an “abomination”, Birmingham branded it “upsetting and soul destroying” and Liverpool simply called it Monday.

After the rioters had set up all their looted brand new Sony home entertainment system, they were distraught that they forgot to rob a set of 3D glasses too.

Had trouble picking out the perfect shoes – then I got arrested.

If only shop owners hung signs in the window saying “vacancy, no skills required” – a job is enough to scare most of these little bastards away

Petrol bombs have been thrown during the riots. Fortunately these won’t last long since they simply can’t afford to burn it!

It isn’t all bad news in London. Shares in Autoglass just shot up 300%

What’s rectangular, black and useless? The thousand laptops the stupid rioters stole, but haven’t figured out how to turn on

Heading to London on holiday soon. It’ll be a riot

Let the games begin!!

[FarmerPug]

ha i like the one about the apple store

but its true if they were in a job would they be rioting?

[lozz]

ha i like the one about the apple store

but its true if they were in a job would they be rioting?

No mate, ithink most of em will have a job or be in Education, college etc,

they dont Riot for Nothing , there will be a Reason,
But is it worth it idont know,

the ones doing the Smash n grabs on shops will be out of work no Doubt or just simply opertunitist,
also ithink alot of kids youths join in with all this kind of Bullshit because they play games like Grandtheft auto iv etc and they are to dumb to Realise Reality,

is the Uk turning into the Bronx or do they just Envy that sort of life style,

wont be long before the uk is on it knees the coppers got the axe with the wages surely many of them now will just sit back and watch the fireworks, isurely wouidnt do there job for the peanuts they get, Bin men are better paid and theyre lazy bastards

[Doggy]

Bin men are better paid and theyre lazy bastards

Hope you've got a brush & shovel handy, lozz

[FarmerPug]

they do a good enough job out here even in the sticks of taking rubbish away although you dont get much talk out of them like the postman

[sirwiggum]

Binmen in urban areas are lazy sods.

Used to be they collected your bins weekly in any state, any rubbish you left beside the bins.

Now they're right jobsworths "oh we're not going to collect your bin because your lid is 1cm open". "we're not going to collect your rubbish bags". "We're not going to do a weekly collect, we will do it fortnightly" which means your food scraps can be festering at the bottom of the bin for an entire fortnight, any wonder the bins stink?

[FarmerPug]

ah yes they do leave the collection a bit long now, about 4 years ago they had the bright idea of ending a weekly collection and doing it fortnightly, although our fireplace gets used a lot more, and as for scaps of food between the dog and hens its usually sorted. What is terrible is the kerbie bins for the recycling, everone here got one, but they were properly useless, they would pick through the bin and not take everthing fair enough as some stuff isnt recyclable, but my mum got pissed off by how they threw the bin with stuff in it just on the side of the road the stuff would be all over the place.

[sirwiggum]

Yes our street after Bryson House has been round (today coincidentally) we usually find a rogue can or bottle in the lawn (of something that we don't even drink! If it was Harp or Irn Bru fair enough!)

Those wee kerbie bins they give you are just about big enough for the two of us. I imagine if we had a family, dogs etc, they would be useless!

[lozz]

Bin men are better paid and theyre lazy bastards

Hope you've got a brush & shovel handy, lozz

Yer..ive got one handy here lol.

why?

[Doggy]

Well, maybe your bin man's a forum member.

[lozz]

Well, maybe your bin man's a forum member.

Cool, ihope he is as id like to warn him My bins are going to be heavy,
ive just had a clear out in my garage, old droplinks, clutch plates and some other heavy carparts have gone in the bins
hope he dosent have a Hernia