I'm feeling sorry for meself!

[turbolag]

I'm in a right mess. It's way too hot for patrolling on the mountain bike, so I spent all day yesterday out on foot round the beat. Fortunately, I didn't have to walk more than a coupla hundred yards before some kind sole would offer me a cold drink, which probably saved my life.

Nonetheless, I was sweating me nads off in the body arour and t1t hat. My socks were soaking in my boots and soon took on the consistency of sandpaper, and my awesome police issue trousers, made from the finest ground up brillo pads, have rubbed me buttocks and undercarriage a distressing shade of scarlet.

Result is that everyones favourite manly bobbie is toady walking around like John Wayne and feeling very sorry for himself. still, i've got my freshly repainted spoiler and new strut brace to look forward to and cheer me up!

[Foxy]

I want a strut brace!

[turbolag]

Then do the strutbracer thing, my man! ?50 odd quid is good value!

[GeordieBoy]

Sounds painfull lol

Do strutbraces actually do owt?

[turbolag]

Yeah, they look bloomin' marvellous when you pop the bonnet!

[PJ]

'turbolag'
' and my awesome police issue trousers, made from the finest ground up brillo pads, have rubbed me buttocks and undercarriage a distressing shade of scarlet.

Know the feeling turbolag. You have my sympathy.

'supafrisk'
Take a nice cool pot of sudocrem baby cream (preferably from out of the fridge) and apply liberally to thighs, bum and undercarriage.

You're quite right 'Supa'. If only we could think to do that beforehand.
And futhermore, your customers are extremely right.