I am sure she was seeing someone else
cross-Eyed
Moderator: Moderators
cross-Eyed
Just split up from my cross-eyed girlfriend.
I am sure she was seeing someone else
I am sure she was seeing someone else
-
highlander
- PowerFlow Shill
- Posts: 3548
- Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 5:03 pm
- Location: Aberdeen
Re: cross-Eyed
and I thought the Christmas Cracker-standard "groan" jokes were done already Very good though
2002 (D9) Peugeot 406 Coupe SE, 2.2 litre Petrol. Scarlet Red/Rouge Ecarlate/Rosso Scarlatto. Black Leather interior. SOLD 
2008 (E60 LCI) BMW 525i M-Sport, 3.0 litre Petrol. Carbonschwarz Metallic. Black Dakota Leather and Myrtlewood interior.
2008 (E60 LCI) BMW 525i M-Sport, 3.0 litre Petrol. Carbonschwarz Metallic. Black Dakota Leather and Myrtlewood interior.
-
FarmerPug
- 2.0 HDI 110
- Posts: 9656
- Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2010 5:42 pm
- Location: The Countryside, Northern Ireland
- Contact:
Re: cross-Eyed
i was going to tell you the joke about the butter.
But youd only spread it.
But youd only spread it.
Re: cross-Eyed
Budgie,
My budgie broke his leg today
so i made him a little splint
out of a couple of swan vestas
his little face lit up when he tried
to walk.
My budgie broke his leg today
so i made him a little splint
out of a couple of swan vestas
his little face lit up when he tried
to walk.
Re: cross-Eyed
Curry,
Was having an indian meal the other
night and the waiter came up to me
and said "curry okay ?" i said, go on
then just one song then f.ck off.
Was having an indian meal the other
night and the waiter came up to me
and said "curry okay ?" i said, go on
then just one song then f.ck off.
Re: cross-Eyed
Big issue ?
There was a man outside asda selling the big issue. I said to him "knock knock"
he replies, "who's there"
"i thought you were ment to be homeless"
There was a man outside asda selling the big issue. I said to him "knock knock"
he replies, "who's there"
"i thought you were ment to be homeless"
Re: cross-Eyed
Carnt Explain ?
The Farmer mumbles, "Some things I just can't explain." The bartender, who knows the Farmer as Jim, asks, "What do you mean Jim?".
"Well, you know my old cow Betsy? I was milking her this morning and out of the blue she knocks the pail of milk over with her right back leg. So I picked up a piece of rope laying nearby and cut me off a piece. I tied her leg to the post nearby, but some things I just can't explain," Jim said.
"Jim, What do you mean by that," the Bartender asks.
"Well, I commenced to milking her again and when the pail got half full she kick it over with her left back leg. So I took the left over piece of rope and tied her other leg to another post, but some things I just can't explain," Jim added.
"Jim, tell me what it is you can't explain and I'll see if I can help," the Bartender said.
"Well, after that I went back to milking her and again I got the pail half full and I'll be darned if she didn't knock the pail over with her tail. Since I didn't have any more rope left I took off my belt and tied one end to her tail. Then I stood up on my stool and reached up to hook the buckle on a nail just above. About that time my pants fell to my ankles and my wife walks into the barn. That's what I can't explain."
The Farmer mumbles, "Some things I just can't explain." The bartender, who knows the Farmer as Jim, asks, "What do you mean Jim?".
"Well, you know my old cow Betsy? I was milking her this morning and out of the blue she knocks the pail of milk over with her right back leg. So I picked up a piece of rope laying nearby and cut me off a piece. I tied her leg to the post nearby, but some things I just can't explain," Jim said.
"Jim, What do you mean by that," the Bartender asks.
"Well, I commenced to milking her again and when the pail got half full she kick it over with her left back leg. So I took the left over piece of rope and tied her other leg to another post, but some things I just can't explain," Jim added.
"Jim, tell me what it is you can't explain and I'll see if I can help," the Bartender said.
"Well, after that I went back to milking her and again I got the pail half full and I'll be darned if she didn't knock the pail over with her tail. Since I didn't have any more rope left I took off my belt and tied one end to her tail. Then I stood up on my stool and reached up to hook the buckle on a nail just above. About that time my pants fell to my ankles and my wife walks into the barn. That's what I can't explain."
