Every one a winner!

[DaiRees]

Just to let you all know , I have bought a Racehorse !!!!!! Its called "MY FACE"

It is entered this summer at ASCOT !!!

Even though its cost tens of thousands I don't really care if it wins, or if it costs loads to train!

I just want to hear all those posh, toffee nosed overdressed young tarts shouting.....






























COME ON MY FACE !!!!

[Blue406]

you daft bugger

[puggy]

Dirty daft bugger !!!

[Welly]

I had a race horse years ago called "MY TITS".................

[jamjar1383]

nice one dai i needed a good laugh

[DaiRees]

Ewwwww Supa, you know some weird people!!!



Here's something to instantly make you all feel sick and put an image into your head that will haunt you for years to come . ..



Imagine this bloke shouting it at the track . . . .

[steve_earwig]

Ewww!

There was something in the news a while back, hold on... Here.

[darrenwall]

reminds me of a story in the paper a few years back about an owner having to rename his horse , the name he wanted was -------- Norfolk enchants , now imagina a commentator saying that out loud

[teamster1975]

reminds me of a story in the paper a few years back about an owner having to rename his horse , the name he wanted was -------- Norfolk enchants , now imagina a commentator saying that out loud

Not much faith in the old nag then!

[puggy]

But surely supa you wouldn't be looking at the face during oral !!

[DaiRees]

Which reminds me of another one...

A guy shouts downstairs to his wife, "come up here and hold my clock".
When she gets upstairs he is naked on the bed, with an erection!!
"Thats not a clock" She says.
"It will be when you put two hands and a face on it" is the reply !!

[DaiRees]

Which reminds me of another one.....


A guy is driving his new 407 fresh from the showroom, as he aproaches a roundabout he sees a young Female jogger in a Lycra outfit

Suddenly she runs in front of him and a collision is unavoidable!!

He stops and jumps out, rushing over to the woman.

"Are you OK?" he asks.

"Everything's blurred" she replies, "l think l'm going blind!!"

He holds his hand up to her face showing 4 fingers,

"Tell me how many fingers l've got up", he says >>>























"Oh my GOD!!!!" she says "l'm paralised from the waist down too!!!!"

[puggy]

[DaiRees]

Gay Ray goes to the doctor's and has some tests run.

Next week he's back for the results and the doctor says, 'Ray, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS.'

Ray is devastated. 'Doc, what can I do?'

Eat 1 curry sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled onions drenched in chilli sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts,1/2 box of All Bran and wash it all down with a gallon of prune juice.'

Ray asks bewildered, 'Will that cure me, Doc?'























Doc says, 'No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your arse is for.

[DaiRees]

The Geography of a Woman............


Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.

Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically un-patrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future.

After 70, they become Afghanistan . Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.




The Geography of a Man

Between the ages of 14 and 90 a man is like America. Ruled by a dick