Cold Calls/recorded messages

[scotty73]

I had a corker about three months back, asian bloke selling mobile phone contracts.

Him, please be aware i'm not selling something.
Me, yes you must be what do you want.
Him, it's about your mobile contract.
Me, i dont have one i'm on pay as you go i'm not interested.

But i can save you money.
Me, thought you wernt selling anything? ok i'm not interested please go away and i hung up.

Now imagine this 10 seconds later in an irate pakistani voice.

Him, HELLO WHY DID YOU HANG UP ON ME?

Me, because i dont want what your selling and it's my time i can do what i like.

Him.... oh but but but..... F*CK OFF... he then puts the phone down.... I'm wetting myself at that point.

[Pilch]

Haha some classics!

I seem to be getting PPI from 01792455426.

Had an accident claims call the other day, told them in a very firm voice that they will be the one needing to be making a claim if they dont stop calling me and that the next person that does call will get a mouthful..... Suffice to say they stopped...

I like the ones that ring up claiming that our computers are fecked. Depending on my mood I will either just let them gabble on and leave the phone, or just say i use DOS or Linux - which at that point they get very confused and say what no microsoft?

[FarmerPug]

I got rang up one day, they said my computer was full of viruses, i took the piss with them completely, shouting down the phone "do i need to get any antibiotics, can it give me the virus" the man on the other end got confused, but started to blabber on about how he could get rid of the problems on my computer, he told me all these names of virus it had, so i said hold on, pretended to get the laptop but actually got a hammer and some wood. I smashed the wood and said "no problem i smashed it, that will stop them viruses, do i need to burn whats left of this laptop can they still spread?" at which point the phone went quiet.

A neighbour who is a salesperson was trying to get me to sign up to some lyoness thing, is it actually any good, it sounds too good to be true.

[robb]

My brother in law being of Spanish descent speaks the language fluently .I was at his house when he got a foreigner trying to sell him a phone package .He put the speaker phone on and proceeded to have a conversation with the seller switching from Spanish to English seamlessly we were all in stitches as the guy didnt have a clue what was going on ,it went on for over ten minutes before the seller put the phone down My trick is to put the phone next to the tv speaker and carry on watching tv shouting I cant hear you now and again, it does surprise me how long some people wll stay on the line

[lozz]

iget alsorts of daft calls,
ialways wind them up, they only ring once,

ihave aradio tuned into classical fm, something for them to listen to when iask them to hold on, while iget someone that will want to talk to you

[steve_earwig]

I have the answer........

Download Form C01 and fax it to the number shown. This removes you from the electoral register listing (which I believe gets sold off by 192.com) held by sales companies.

I do this once a year and I can tell you with absolute certainty I get NO sales calls at my hone whatsover

http://statics.192.com/rel-3.25/downloads/C01.pdf

You can also register with the TPS shown at the bottom of the form to be doubly sure.

I'll send that to my pa, thanks.

It's very basic here, we usually get real people calling up and it's not that often, usually it's inviting us to a free meal with some sales dem. They seldom speak English The only exception to this is the phone company (useless greedy bastards that they are) that call us up with a recorded message to tell us that our bill's late being paid by a day or so