Email jokes from my bro.

[sirwiggum]

What do Erasure drive?

A Blue (Renault) Savanna

[lozz]

Paddy and Murphy go for a day of fishing, but when they get to the bridge they realize they have forgotten their equipment. So Murphy comes up with an idea. “Paddy you hold me by the ankles over the bridge and when I see a fish I’ll grabs it” so Paddy hangs him over the side. All of a sudden Murphy shouts “Paddy, pull me up quick..hurry up ye kint” Paddy asks “why Murphy, have you caught a fish?” “no Paddy” Murphy replies “there’s a Feckin train coming”

[lozz]

I took 2 stuffed dogs to Antiques Roadshow.
"Oohh" said the presenter, "This is a very rare breed do u know wot they would fetch if they were alive?"

Sticks?' I replied.

[sirwiggum]

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick.

[lozz]

good effort,

[sirwiggum]

A man is driving through the countryside when all of a sudden his car shudders to a halt.

He gets out and scratches his head.

The field next to him contained a black horse and a white horse. The white horse comes up to the fence and makes a noise

"Neeigghhh spark"

The man thinks that was strange, and stares blankly at the engine.

"Neeigghhh spark"

The man looked confused, but right enough checked the spark plugs and turned out the leads had worked their way loose from the dizzy cap.

He drives to the next village pub where he needs a stiff drink.

The barman says "You look like you've seen something strange"

Man says "The car broke down, this white horse told me to check the spark plugs and right enough the leads were loose"

"Its as well it wasn't the black horse" the barman says "as he knows nothing about cars!"

[lozz]

[Doggy]

Looky here:

http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/

[sirwiggum]

[DaiRees]

Looky here:

http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/

Been following textfromdog on Facebook, brilliant stuff

[lozz]

The americans get there dogs to talk,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... FsR772EByQ

they must be mental

[sirwiggum]

The americans get there dogs to talk,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... FsR772EByQ

they must be mental

Sure on thats life there was a dog that said sausages.

Mind the owner had to move its mouth. And it sounded vague. But still.

[lozz]

all dogs will talk aspose,

My dogs use to sing along to the radio when they used to be in the kennels,
but aspose anything will howl when its heard two much classical fm




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eug_Arb1sb4

[sirwiggum]

My mums labrador says "Rarr rirr" when looking food. Sounds a bit like "chi cken" would get on thats life.

Mrs Green was walking to the post office when her neighbor came up to her and said "Hello Janis, How’s your dog? I saw her yesterday chasing an old man on a bike."

"Oh" said Mrs Green "That could NOT have been my dog"

"Oh, why not?" replied her neighbor "I’m pretty sure it was her"

"Well" stated Mrs. Green smiling "my dog doesn’t ride a bike"

[scotty73]

In their own way dogs do talk to you, mine is not of the vocal kind unless i ignore him but he winks and guestures with his head in a way i can only describe as "c'mon dad lets go".... Especially when we're by the back door he's saying "let me out of here so i can chase birds and cats"

And again if i ignore him he will either kick the door or run at me and bark... he's fooking nuts... But clever because it works.