Lots of bumps and scrapes but what do expect driving a BT van around North London for about 15 years? I suppose the main ones are:
Driving a Ford A Series with a broken road spring back to the yard (seemed quicker than waiting for them to come out and realise they couldn't fix it in the road
), I squeezed it through a gap not realising that it was actually driving slightly sideways and took the side off a fairly new Mazda.
Hurtling down a back road in the A to the strains of Metallica, a women in a can't remember panicked at the sight of me heading towards her, swerved into a parking space and slammed into a parked car. Ok, an accident I wasn't involved in but caused
Once more in the A, trying to get out onto the NCR in heavy traffic, I was edging out when I saw an artic coming towards me, giving all the impression of having no desire to stop. I had a quick squint in the mirrors, couldn't see anything behind me, started backing up and BANG! One slightly shorter Audi coupe.
Finally in the A, I was turning right from a side road into Seven Sisters. I couldn't see past the back of a truck on my left but I could see the lights on the pelican crossing further down on the left, which were just changing to amber. I figured I had a good few seconds so I punched it - BANG!! Guy in a Craptina doing a drag start, totalled both vehicles, the Craptina just about drove under the A.
Once one of the senior techs was off and I was told to drive his truck, which was a Ford Cargo cabling lorry. I wasn't happy about it but I didn't have a choice. They then gave me a job in Crouch End, which if you don't know it, is a busy high road surrounded by tiny twist one way streets. Finding nowhere to park (of course), I was just going round and round in circles. Finally I misjudged a corner and took a parked Mini out - I saw bits of car flying up in the air in the mirror. They never asked me to drive it again. The next time the tech was off they gave the Cargo to another guy, who wrote it and 3 cars off.
In the real world...
I'm sure you've all seen the pics of my first car, a Marina, that I hit a motorway sign with and tore in half.
In a Craptina of my very own, I was caning it up a hill when a guy in another Craptina pulled out on me. He handed my a wad of cash but I was more concerned about my mate in the passenger seat who decided to have an epileptic fit. Roughed out with a hammer, sprayed with primer to match the rest of the heap.
1979 Moss green Avenger estate 1.6 automatic, I was waiting to turn right onto the Epping New Road (long, straight and wide so used to be the place to see how fast your car goes), Cavalier coming from my left, nothing from my right, wait for the Cav to pass, start pulling out - he turned without indicating and cut across the front of me - I put a lovely crease down the rhs of his car, the Avenger didn't have a mark on it.
Ashtray estate, I was coming onto a big roundabout on a dual carriageway (the sort that has a forest on it), looked to my right and I could just about see a Vitara a long way off so pulled on. She was obviously caning it though because by the time I'd gone a quarter of the way round she'd caught me up. She was in the r/h lane, I was in the left. Trouble was I was in the way of her exit but she just tried to drive through me, wiping out my passenger door with her bull bar. Obviously her fault, she was almost in hysterics so I waited with her until she'd calmed down and sent her on her way. It ended up in court and she lied her arse off, the idiot magistrate said if you pull onto a roundabout and a car hits you it's always your fault. I'm still angry about that one,
Same car, different roundabout. Waiting behind a Dayoo Matis to pull out into the traffic, a big gap came up and the Dayoo started to pull out. I followed but for some reason he stopped with inevitable consequences - made a fair mess of the back end of the Dayoo but the Astra was unmarked.
On the bike:
CX500 (somebody had to),June 23rd 1992, riding to work, same journey I'd made loads of times. Some guy in an Audi screamed up to a junction on my left looking like he wasn't going to stop, so I pulled out away from him and went round a r/h bend on completely the wrong line. The back wheel clipped a pot hole and I completely lost it, ending up riding onto the pavement and hitting a lamp post which took everything of the lhs of the bike - crashbar, indicators and my leg, dragging me off the bike. Left leg broken in 3 places, almost pulverised my tibia below my knee. Dislocated right hip, broken left thumb. Via my union I sued the local council for the pothole, the investigators said it was partly my fault for being fairly a inexperienced rider but I used the pay out to put the deposit on my first house. I was off work for 2 weeks short of two years. I have a lumpy leg, cruciate problems and arthritis, and my left thumb is shorter than my right.
I rode up to the British Motorcycle Club's member's rally at the East of England showground in Peterborough on my TDM. Inside the showground, girlfriend on the back, I was riding along past a load of parked cars when I saw a marshal off to my right frantically waiving his arms around like a loon. I was too busy looking at him to see the car pulling out on my from my left, who t-boned me, leaving an interesting bruise on my leg. Scuffed fairing, broken brake lever. He gave me a load of baloney details and the police didn't do anything because they reckoned it happened on private land and out of their jurisdiction. The bastards
Sorry, I'm not good with dates
in a Fiat Uno drove straight through a cross roads into the side of my 114 GTa. She got out sobbing her eyes out saying "i didn't realize there was a junction here". i tried to pull her months later in a night club but failed. Door and wing required. 
Touch wood in the millions of years i've been driving i've only ever been in accidents as a passenger, first one i was about 13 and my dads audi 80 got side swiped.
