Getting engaged?

[Bailes1992]

I've been with my other half now for 4 years.
We're both petrol heads (well her not so much, but she puts up with my car related nonsense and generally knows what I'm on about ) and we get on brilliantly. Although she does have pleanty of female strops which I assume are the norm
We've just started saving big time for a house and both taking it pretty seriously. Infact in less than a month we've got £1500 together. I didn't even know we had that much money
We plan to be looking for a house by this time next year.

We took a turn for the worse mid last year for a few weeks but all that seems to be forgotten and we're getting along great.
I was planning to propose last year before stuff started going wrong but I decided against it.

She turns 21 in May and has suggested it a few times over the past few months.
Now there seems to be lots of my friends getting engaged to people they've been with for only a few months, I feel that people are just getting engaged for the sake of it.

I would like to propose but I feel shy about it, which really isnt like me.
Theres also a few things that are going over in my mind. More worried about what people will think of me really.
Am I too young? (Turned 20 in December)
What will my parents say?
What will her parents say?

What do you guys think?

[trufflehunt]

This decision is no particular business of your, or her, parents.

Yes, you're plenty young.

Perhaps you've already answered your own question..? "..I feel that people are just getting engaged for the sake of it.".

Shyness..., or not really ready?

[Bailes1992]

I'm ready. But I'm more worried about what other people think.

I'd be quite happy to get married to her as we get on so well.

Also worth saying I look like a caveman and she's actually pretty decent Had a few "Punching above my weight" comments

I don't think I would be getting engaged for the sake of it. I think I'd be worried other people would think we're getting engaged for the sake of it.

[trem1]

Sam,
do you love her ???
Does she love you ??
If the answer to both those questions is yes then why not, you dont get any guarantee's with marriage (on my second) but if you dont jump you'll never know.

And just for the record i would marry Linda again tomorrow, dont know if she would tho and we been together 20 years.

I wouldnt give a toss what others think (but i dont anyway,think it comes with age)
If her/your parents are the traditional type cant hurt to ask what they think, then if they disagree just ignore them, you were polite enough to ask after all.

[DaiRees]

It's not really important what anyone else thinks Sam, the choice is yours and Beccas. I'm sure your parents will support you both if you decide to go ahead and get engaged. I mean its not like you're rushing into it, 4 years is a significant courtship after all. If it feels right for both of you go for it.

To look at things slightly differently, getting engaged is actually only a marginally more committed version of "going out". If things go pear shaped you can still walk away relatively unscathed. You already seem to have made the decision to get a place together and that, for me, signifies a much bigger commitment.

Mrs Dai and I have been together since we were 17, so that's 24 years this year. Survived different universities, luckily not too far apart, then bought the house and got engaged at 24, married at 26, first kid at 28, second kid at 34, still going strong at 40 and looking forward to a long and prosperous future together

Right, thats enough of that mushy sh*t.

[lozz]

It dont matter or shouidnt matter what other people think,
tell em to get to f*ck if you get in any back stabbers, (theres always one)

Just ask her,


getting engadged/married changes nothing mate,


getting your own home is a rolla coster ride, it aint easy

[Bimbles1]

Sam it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks will they be paying for the mortgage, paying bills every month etc? Age doesn't come into it you just know. If family traditionalist Do it proper and Ask Dad for her hand in marriage! if close to your parents tell them as soon as possible.
Don't just get engaged either and then never set a date. Too many friends have done this just like having cake and eating it then have met someone else and married them straight away.
Remember if you get married the most important thing is the 15 minutes you exchange your vows all the rest doesn't matter.
What's the point of spending lots on cars cake and flowers if you didn't mean what you promised to do.
The hardest part of being married is staying married you will have good times, skint times, no sleep times (especially kids) no time to your self (kids again!!!!!) mad and angry time at each other but as long as you can remember why you got together that's all that matters. Me and Mr have been together for 27 years married soon for 23 years. My parents married Mum 21 dad 22 courting since 16 married 54 years Hubby parents mum on 21 birthday dad 25 married 53 years
and my grandparents She was 18 and him 23 married for nearly 70 years so age doesn't matter.
P.s let her pick her ring....... she does have to look at it everyday
Good luck with what ever you do

[midsmike]

Sam I haven't been a member on here that long to no every1 but take it from some 1 not much older then u I'm 25 and like every1 else has sed don't think about wat they say or think its wat you and ur girlfriend want I think u can never be to young ur ready wen u feel ready me and my girlfriend have benn together for 5 years now our son turns 2 in april and we been living together for just over 2 years and we argue now and then but life would be boring if we never I think if you want to spend the rest of your life with her then go ahead and ask her

[lozz]

My father n mother n law are irish,
so stuff like proposals and stuff have to get there aproval first,
ihad a few beers and got on with it, iexpected them pulling a shot gun out or something,

they said how much do we owe you,

as for the wedding it cost us 150quid, all it was a piss up in my back garden,


make the most of what youve got and just take each day as it comes isay,

oh yeah and invest in a fishing rod

[V6Exec]

There are a few things in your post that perhaps bear closer scrutiny, but ultimately the choicemust be yours.

You are worried what people will think of you, yet you ask on here for advice! I would say that you are not that concerned about what people will think.

You would like to propose but feel shy about it - so you publicise it here. Seems like an extreme way of curing that stagefright!

I would say go with your heart, which clearly seems to be with her.

Your concern about others getting engaged for the sake of it is clear, and so in going ahead you need a plan of why you are getting engaged and set things in motion so you are not just doing the same.

Whichever decision you make, you will have to live with - make sure you make the right one for the right reasons. Having said that, if I was in your shoes there would be one less character in the name of this thread (or to put it another way - no question about it)

[steve_earwig]

Getting engaged means you plan to get married, if there are no plans to get married you don't need to get engaged[/robot]

Do whatever you feel is right Sam, no-one can tell you if it's good or bad because everyone is different.

[lozz]

spot on steve.


Right im off to watch my wedding video, (in reverse)

the best bit is when she :



iwill grab my coat,

[steve_earwig]

the best bit is when she :

Walks backwards out the door?

[lozz]

the best bit is when she :

Walks backwards out the door?

yeah summink like that,

[scotty73]

P.s let her pick her ring.......

Is that really important in marriage? does she do it in front of him? under the covers or in a different room?

I thought it was just men who did this i must be wrong.