Stuff my girlfriend says...

[DaiRees]

"I'd love to pee myself just to see what it feels like"

Words fail me, that's a classic. Tell her to stand in the bath if she's going to try that one Sam!

[plod]

same here,smoking is banned in the house due to my sons having Asthma,
Wife goes out the back sparks up has afew chongs and then flicks it in the yard,

iwished she wouid fling them down the drain it wouid save me sweeping the things up

But it's not just the toxins whilst smoking is it

I smoked 50-60 a day, and never around my lad
However he is asthmatic and kept getting chest infections.
I tried to give up before he was born, but didn't manage it for a few years longer.
When I did, the number of chest infections he got fell rapidly.

They say you are still breathing out toxins for another 30-60mins after smoking.
I think it could be more, as I also tried not to smoke for at least 30mins before I got home and seen the lad

[lozz]

Very true plod,

[steve_earwig]

Our cats and dogs have never complained

At least she speaks the same language as you Sam I think my pet peeve is whet I get told to get ready. In English it'd be "we're going in 5 minutes"..."I'm almost ready"..."I'm ready"..."Shall we go now?"..."Can you get ready?"..."Will you get ready?"..."Will you please get ready?" but oh no, I get just the last one, like we're suddenly at DEF CON 5 and I'm in trouble. I know she doesn't mean it like that but... Or framing questions as statements - "You will light the fire now." Will I? Still, her English is a damn sight better than my Croatian is or will ever be

[Bailes1992]

I hope you don't think I'm being rude Steve.
But how do you manage having a relationship with someone who you can bareley converse with?

Actually... I think it would be a godsend

[waue1978]

I hope you don't think I'm being rude Steve.
But how do you manage having a relationship with someone who you can bareley converse with?

Sounds like mine. They claim to speak English, but really the Irish speak a totally different language (apart from Gaellic).

Our house is full of presses & yokes...

& considering she's blond aswell, there's plenty of scope for me to add some of her favourite quotes to this over the next few months.

[Captain Jack]

My turn.

Sunday. Pancakes for breakfast - ready and waiting to be smothered in honey and other diabetes inducing products. My girlfriend comes home from a night's shift at A&E (she's a trainee GP doing a 6 month stint there) and tells me a story that happened that night.

A woman in her early 20's comes into the unit, with a er.. tampon stuck .. up there. On a night out, she "forgot" she had it in and started bleeding. Knowing that it was her time of the month, she stuck another one up, pushing the original, forgotten, one further up the crevice. Apparently, the stench that came with extracting it was quite incredible and nothing like my girlfriend ever experienced.

I didn't have breakfast that day.

[FarmerPug]

My sister has been learning to drive for about 5 months now and today was the first time i was in the car while she was driving, and the first time she has drove the kia as opposed to the driving instructors car. My dad was also there, and a very interesting question was asked as we approached the 30mph zone.

"how do you make the speed lower?"

This is after 5 months of driving lessons every other week, my dad asked what do you mean, she said, the driving instructors car slows itself down

[Captain Jack]

Oh my.... no offence but I hope she stays off road....

[Sonia406]

Oh my.... no offence but I hope she stays off road....

I agree


Entertaining thread at times, but some of you need a clip round the ear for some of these sexist comments
Shall I just avert my eyes?

[Bailes1992]

[Captain Jack]

Sam, are you dating someone from "The only way is Essex"?

[Sonia406]

[lozz]

My turn.

Sunday. Pancakes for breakfast - ready and waiting to be smothered in honey and other diabetes inducing products. My girlfriend comes home from a night's shift at A&E (she's a trainee GP doing a 6 month stint there) and tells me a story that happened that night.

A woman in her early 20's comes into the unit, with a er.. tampon stuck .. up there. On a night out, she "forgot" she had it in and started bleeding. Knowing that it was her time of the month, she stuck another one up, pushing the original, forgotten, one further up the crevice. Apparently, the stench that came with extracting it was quite incredible and nothing like my girlfriend ever experienced.

I didn't have breakfast that day.

Yuck...

I was eating a bag of scampi fries n all.. now flung in bin.