The case of the demon door-locks

[Menophanes]

Anybody who is overwhelmed by disgust at human stupidity is advised to read no further.

This morning, just as I was setting out for work, one of my cats flopped down directly in my path and showed no disposition to move. I tumbled out in haste to offer some respectful advice on relocation, instinctively shutting the door as I did so, and on returning to the car I found myself locked out with the engine running.

Yes, you may laugh (not too loudly, please, for I am a sensitive soul). The truth is that my ascent up the auto-technological ladder has been a little too quick for comfort - for example, only two years ago I had never driven a car with air-conditioning, digital mileage-recorders or an ECU - and I have not yet learned to modify my habits to allow for (relatively) modern security arrangements. At all events, there I was: no spare key, no spare time, and even if my AA coverage had included Home Start I could not have contemplated leaving the engine idling for forty minutes or more. So I broke a window, climbed through it, drove away, and tried to be thankful that (a) the car has no alarm and (b) I am a skinny little wretch and fairly agile for my age.

Is there anything else I could have done, I wonder? (Apart from not shutting the ******* door with the ******* key inside, that is.)

Oliver Mundy.

[lozz]

As Forrest gump once said

sh*t happens.


I think you've done the right thing..

I bet the cat is curled up somewhere having a laugh.

[markw]

The cat's not the only one. Thanks Menophanes, that was funny. You have a way with words! Ever thought of comedy scripting??.
Sorry I have no words of wisdom to prevent it happening again apart from the obvious......

[puggy]

Why did you climb through the window that you smashed ? couldn't you have
just opened the door and got in as normal

[lozz]

Why did you climb through the window that you smashed ? couldn't you have
just opened the door and got in as normal

Dead locked perhaps

[gumby6371]

I didn't realise auto locking kicked in with the ignition on!

Think I'll stick with my no frills D8 it's safer

[jasper5]

NEVER close your door with the engine running and nobody is in the car, as I have found out as well with a customer's car a while back and my 407, fortunately, spare keys were available both times.

To open the door without keys....

Get a length of plastic parcel strapping or a thin metal rod (opened out coat hanger, welding rod etc), pry back the door frame until you have room to fiddle the strapping/metal rod through the door and pull back the door handle.

[Menophanes]

Why did you climb through the window that you smashed ? couldn't you have
just opened the door and got in as normal

A fair question. I can only say that I was in a state not far short of panic and quite unfit for connected thought. I am not even sure, now, whether I tried the interior handle and found it immobilised (as lozz has suggested) before resorting to gymnastics; I may have done so.

Oliver Mundy.

[lozz]

Normally when a car locks itself up
It carnt be opened from the inside.

Anti-hijack feature perhaps

Istill think you did the right thing mind..
If your cat is anything like mine - he won't move unless I grab him and throw him out the way
Unlike other cats that l. Run off the minute the engine is started mine will be still sat there sunbathing..

[puggy]

I love dogs but have never taken to cats ( perhaps cos they are feline and show no loyalty,just like women )
so this problem would never arise for me because of the obvious course of action

[Menophanes]

I didn't realise auto locking kicked in with the ignition on!

Think I'll stick with my no frills D8 it's safer

I suppose it is possible that my locks were not functioning entirely as they should. Certainly, now that I think of it, there have been two occasions when I have found myself locked inside the car; the remedy is apparently to switch off, re-start and then switch off again. If this was an intended feature, I presume it would happen every time rather than occasionally. And yet Jasper5's report does suggest that the car's behaviour was normal and only mine was not.

However this may be, I have devised a mnemonic to ensure that the disaster cannot be repeated: MIKI-MOKO (Man in, key in; man out, key out).

Oliver Mundy.

[lozz]

I love dogs but have never taken to cats ( perhaps cos they are feline and show no loyalty,just like women )
so this problem would never arise for me because of the obvious course of action

That's albeit harsh mate.

Cats can be loyal.
Our old cat has anyway.

But saying that he's been brought up with dogs and trained with the same methods.

[jasper5]

You CAN open the door from inside when the auto locks are on!

Every time I get out of our 407 I just pull the inside door handle as normal.

The door locks activate after a few seconds...they even lock themselves again if you haven't actually got in the car within a certain time.

I have been caught out before with auto locks, as I said.

[puggy]

Hi John , nice to see you are still about issuing words of wisdom, and how
is the real jasper ?

[jasper5]

Hi Lou,

Jasper is blind now, but he's fine, still fit as a fiddle.

He's 17 now, but still riding in the van with me.