Living and working in the UK....?

[steve_earwig]

Cool, I love cheese. If you think that's bad, I have to cope with "mobitel"

[teamster1975]

Have you seen that squirty cheese they sell over there? Disgusting stuff

[steve_earwig]

You could always carry it about as an alternative to Mace...

[Eric]

The first time I was in California everyone was asking me "where ya from?". Even at a bluddy urinal! I do know some nice Yanks and apparently they weren't singling me out as looking particularly English or anything, they ask each other the same question, in an "isn't our country amazingly big?!" kind of way.

Notes for Enquiring Americans:
I am from a small place that almost certainly you've never been to, it's called Planet Earth.
I am English, I am not European. England is as much a part of Europe as the USA is part of Mexico.
London is a big city, it is not a small village with three cows and a duck called Gerald, so the chances that I know your friend are extremely remote.
I do not like the Queen, or any other German for that matter.
Nobody wears bowler hats any more, if anybody did they'd be laughed at or even beaten up.
Now please put your manky dick away and p!ss off.

They have no idea about tea ("can I get you some more water for your tea?" "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!") They have very little idea about coffee either.

America is an amazing country, it's a shame about the people. Canada's much better, same amazing scenery but the Canadians are much more down-to-earth, even if some of them do speak French. The best thing about them is they don't like Americans either.

lmfao my wife is american she's gonna hunt you down steve and make you eat all your food with cheese on it btw can some one tell her it's a bloody MOBILE phone not a cell phone i've tried but she's having none of it

Drum in to her.
Pavement not Sidewalk
Rubbish not Trash
Bonnet not Hood
Windscreen not Windshield
Boot not Trunk
Mobile not Cell
Manual not Stick-shift
Arse not fanny (you may have to point out for her not to mention her fanny in select company)
Trousers not pants (What do Yanks call Pants then?)


And ask her where the hell they got the term "Jaywalking" from, because it's stupid

Oh finally and the one that really gets to me....
Herbs does not have a silent H!

[Welly]

They call pants 'shorts' I think.

Why do Americans snigger when we say we like 'eating out' - I mean we Brits love eating out!

[Eric]

They call pants 'shorts' I think.

Why do Americans snigger when we say we like 'eating out' - I mean we Brits love eating out!

*snigger*

[teamster1975]

They call pants 'shorts' I think.

Why do Americans snigger when we say we like 'eating out' - I mean we Brits love eating out!

*snigger*

I bet you'd get a raucous laugh if you said eating out at Wendy's!

[steve_earwig]

And ask her where the hell they got the term "Jaywalking" from, because it's stupid

I always wondered what that meant when I heard things like "he got picked up for jaywalking" on telly. I thought it was either something to do with the way a jay walks (straight a bit, waggle tail, left a few steps, waggle tail some more, straight again..) as a way to describe a pedestrian filtering their way through moving traffic, or it meant the letter "J", going straight 'til halfway, then going off diagonally or something. I even asked an American buddy (who grew up in New York) and he couldn't give me a definition either.

So, I just thought there's no excuse for ignorance when you've got the Interweb and looked it up on Wiki. They don't know either. It just means crossing a road anywhere other than a pedestrian crossing.

[teamster1975]

I thought it was either something to do with the way a jay walks (straight a bit, waggle tail, left a few steps, waggle tail some more, straight again..) as a way to describe a pedestrian filtering their way through moving traffic

Superb, I've just spat my tea at the computer screen laughing!