DIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
I've just got in from changing the offside disc+shoes+pads. FAIL!
The pads came off easily as expected, the disc was a cinch and then the shoes came off easily as well. 4 HOURS later I'd got the new shoes on

It was pitch black (thank god for my starter/inverter/compressor/light thing!), really windy and 5c out. By the end of it I was so cold I could barely lift the new disc out of the box... and it was vented

Yep, the bloke at EuroCarParts f*cked up and sold me a front disc, and I was stupid enough not to check

So on with the old disc+shoes
Just driven it to the chippy. With the handbrake on. It's quieter that way. I've found out what the noise is - it's the discs so badly corroded on the inside (of the disc and also the drum area). There's only about a 3/4" ring on the inner side that's not brown and lumpy.
At least tomorrow's job is going to be a lot easier.
I'm really scared about the thought of doing the nearside shoes now. It was only a fluke I managed to get the offside on - Levering the shoes all over the place desperately trying to get the things into place... The method that got me there in the end was similar to the BoL initially:
1. The thing that goes on the cable end first
2. The lower shoe, "screwed" in
3. The top shoe with bottom spring attached wedged in so the spring almost reaches the lower shoe
4. Clip the big spring in
5. Fit the adjuster in
6. Clip the little spring (by the adjuster) in
7. One screwdriver levering the top shoe from the top of the hub (!!!!), another screwdriver levering the top shoe up onto the bit of metal by the cable thing
8. One screwdriver levering the top shoe from the top of the hub, HARD (!!!!). One screwdriver levering the cable thing end of the top shoe up on the thing that looks like a protruding screw hole, and a foot kicking the shoe into the back plate
9. Swearing. Lots of.
There has GOT to be a better way of doing it
I think I'll finish changing the offside pads and disc in EuroCarParts' car park. I'm so f*cked off they gave me the wrong discs, and equally f*cked off at myself for not checking
<steve_earwig> I think this forum is more about keeping our cars going with minimal outlay than giving our cars more reason to go bang