and today i have mostly been...

[highlander]

... close!

Your careful sabotaging of the roof/gutter wasn't quite meticulously planned enough; the falling piece didn't write off the hated Yoyo. Try again!

[steve_earwig]

That's a ridge tile, or whatever they're called. I'm hopeless at estimating heights of stuff, so let's just say peak of the roof on a 3-storey house, so there's no way I'm going up there to do anything, I don't even have a ladder long enough anyway. There's no need for sabotage though, crap workmanship is all that's necessary.

Also, it's a volunteer fire service, I think my chances of getting anything out of them if something did happen to the horrible yoyo is almost zero.

[highlander]

That's a ridge tile

Thought so, but I've also seen ceramic guttering in places, particularly in old buildings. And I have no idea what stuff is made out of in Croatia.

peak of the roof on a 3-storey house, so there's no way I'm going up there to do anything

Agreed. I'm crap on stepladders, even. Most embarrassing.

There's no need for sabotage though, crap workmanship is all that's necessary.

Mrs Earwig is more likely to insist you get Yoyo fixed if crap workmanship is responsible for its downfall. If a piece of falling masonry were to, say, plough through the windscreen and dashboard, wrecking a load of electrics and exposing the interior to the elements, that might actually write the car off and she'll just have to get something else.

Also, it's a volunteer fire service, I think my chances of getting anything out of them if something did happen to the horrible yoyo is almost zero.

Ah well, more's the pity

Offer to swap the Yoyo for a fire engine, perhaps? If it helps, get them piss-drunk first.

[Welly]

Monsieur_Earwig in 'really clean' Rav 4 shocker.

That ridge tile came from the Fire House?

Is it windy there today? it's blowing a gale here.

[steve_earwig]

It's gusty now but when that happened there was little more than a breeze. It's come a meter or so from where the roof stops, that was probably the speed it picked up skiing down the roof though. Anyway, the neighbours have just been to warn me, I don't think anything else looks likely to come down but I've driven the yoyo in the yard (and then moved it further back when I remembered the apple tree is about to fall over) but I'm doing it more to stop them keep telling me.

The yoyo is clean? Definitely not as clean as it looks in the picture but it has rained rather a lot lately.

The tiles are ancient bibers (beaver?), which are a bib-shaped ceramic tile held on with two hooks moulded into the flat end and hooked over the battens, they've been sticking them on roofs here for hundreds of years (even old castles have them) but they still make them and when the roof was changed on the fire house they ran out and re-used loads of old ones. The ridges are meant to be held on by the power of cement but they must have run out of that too.

[steve_earwig]

What is it with me and dismantling wood things? Yesterday I thought I'd crack on and dismantle the wooden pallets the firewood came in, they're 2 meters tall by a meter on a side. Before they were held together with wire but now they've got hold of a stapler and someone's gone mental with the thing. 2" staples as many as you like, kerchunkkerchunkkerchunkkerchunkkerchunkkerchunkkerchunk They're bastards to get out, I've been using some sod off pinchers, pliers, screwdrivers to get them started and a claw hammer. What was happening was either these things pull out eventually or they snap, and I punch the wood skinning my knuckles. After a while I had a brainwave, why not use a glove? Sorted. Things were going ok until... ear, hold on, what's all this claret everywhere? I'd managed to slash open the index finger on my left hand, the one without a glove on it. 2 hours later I still haven't dismantled one pallet and I'm bleeding everywhere. Arse. The worst thing is this wood's garbage, it's only good for firewood but if I just kick it to bits all these razor sharp staples are sticking out everywhere like a porcupine.

So today, as it's tipping down, I thought I'd go up and start sorting out the loft (again). In just over a week we've got a builder turning up to start turning it into 2 more bedrooms and another bathroom and I kind of need to shift everything out the way into the eaves. There's a lot of junk up there, I had a cull before when the roof was done but I need to get rid of more now. There are 5 wardrobes up there, full of tw'fe's clothes, bedding and the annex to the Emelda Marcos Memorial Shoe Collection. I can't push a wardrobe into the eaves so I'll have to dismantle them. They're only chipboard but heavy and they don't wobble, so I don't really want to destroy them in case someone needs some. I want to take them to bits and stick them in a pile under the eaves. But they've been made with all sorts of screws, mostly banged in with hammers so the heads don't have a slot in them now. 3 screwdrivers, cutters, pliers and a knife to get the screws started. I've done one but it took ages so I think the next one will come to bits a lot quicker but it won't be reusable.

[Welly]

In my experience you'll carefully dismantle those 'robes, stack them, and there they'll stay. Forever.

I'm getting strict now with our old sh*t, if no-one's touched it for months then off it goes.....

We've got a lot of the Children's stuff in the attic; board games, lego, soft toys and the whole lot is being collected by an Air Ambulance Charity soon. It was supposed to be Car-Booted but I'm f*cked if I'm standing in a field all day being offered loose change for our things.

[DaiRees]

It was supposed to be Car-Booted but I'm f*cked if I'm standing in a field all day being offered loose change for our things.

Never done one myself but I really couldn't be arsed with it. I always remember a friend telling me that he had a hardly used pair of Levis jeans on his stall for 1 pound and some woman offered him 75p, then got all stroppy when he refused. He told her to f*ck off in the end

[steve_earwig]

In my experience you'll carefully dismantle those 'robes, stack them, and there they'll stay. Forever.

I know it, in the back of my mind, I know it. It gets them out of the way though, out of sight, out of my tiny mind. The alternative is to saw them up (mess) and take them in the yoyo to the tip, AKA "The Land of Discarded Nails". Anyway, the last lot I took to pieces (you wouldn't believe the amount of wardrobes there were before, the product of two houses) I sawed up and made shelves in the shed with, so they may find some use one day.

Indoors again today, it's not actually raining but it's worryingly overcast, plus it's cold and windy. First thing this morning I approached the Pug with it's battery but I decided if I started it up and pulled it out it'd start raining, sod's law innit. I'll have to do it soon though, it's MOT* expires on the 17th.

[Welly]

I always remember a friend telling me that he had a hardly used pair of Levis jeans on his stall for 1 pound and some woman offered him 75p, then got all stroppy when he refused. He told her to f*ck off in the end

The venue near me is renowned for being full of chancers like that. You have to get there at stupid early o'clock (fine by me but Mrs_Welly don't 'do' early's) and as soon as you open your 'boot' you get people rifling through your gear looking for the best stuff. f*ck OFF. Then once they've gone you can spend all day getting sunburn and being offered 5p for stuff. DEFINITELY f*ck OFF.

And for added pleasure* the field is used for Sheeps so you get to stand on sh*t nuggets all day.

[Welly]

take them in the yoyo to the tip, AKA "The Land of Discarded Nails"

That's a bit harsh, the Toyota is only tying to do its job

[Doggy]

You couldn't take said yoyo our tip, unless you were prepared to strip it down there and then and put in all the right skips.

They have separate ones for soft and hard plastics now, but worryingly no clear definition of what constitutes one or t'other.

[Welly]

You couldn't take said yoyo our tip, unless you were prepared to strip it down there and then and put in all the right skips.

That won't be necessary, all he needs to do is SLAM the door and the car will strip itself to pieces there and then

So you've got Tip Nazi's too? ours start questioning the customers; "what you got there?" and "where you going with that?" the place is spotless it's like they look down their noses at you when you turn up with all your sh*t.

Me and Mrs_Welly work as a team; she distracts the workers with her questions while I get busy shoving all kinds of jumbled up sh*t in the landfill container. f*ck em.

[Doggy]

That's the spirit welters!

Mrs Doggy is unfortunately not given to frequenting our 'Recycling Centre' for some reason.

[steve_earwig]

Tempting though it would be to leave it there... The guys at the tip here take stuff to pieces so they know it's all going in the right skip. The last time I was there I just had to pull the stuff out of the yoyo and put it on the ground, then they went through it, putting stuff in the right skips and anything needing dismantling onto the heap of stuff to process. It was rather painless really. I still worry about what I'm driving over on the unpaved road getting there tho.