Been a while...

[mjb]

That little thing called 'life' getting in the way...

Little boy's 2 now, and waiting for an appointment to be diagnosed with autism. BMW's "ok"(*) and the wife's hdi90 is as underpowered as ever and getting more covered in "eww" in the child seat area every day . Going to attack the '6 this weekend with a new set of engine mounts (crappy crap crap going to do the bottom one too!) and a new sump because the plughole's well and truly stripped on it, and it desperately needs an oil change. Of course, that all assumes the (ebay) parts arrive in time. For some reason ECP don't stock HDI top engine mounts!

I say the BMW's OK, what I really mean is it's an unresponsive barge with tyres that may as well be covered in oil when the temperature's under 5 degrees... Knocking up some circuitry and code to replace the cd player / trip computer with something snazzy (and not limited to just one single audio cd - grr) as BMW's "I-BUS" setup makes it really quite hackable! Then when I get time and money I might think about replacing the shocks, although I suspect the pneumatic self-levelling "stuff" might make that prohibitively expensive. I might even wash it sometime

Constantly looking to replace it though - according to howmanyleft.co.uk there's around 6 540i estate's from 2000 on the road which aren't specifically automatics, and I want some of that V8 noise. There's not been a single one on ebay in the last 4 or so months though. Hopefully the 540's ECU isn't stuck in "ultra-vague" mode like the 530's is, it's really quite difficult to push the car when the ECU cuts power half a second or so after you lift your foot...

On the other hand, summer-only tyres, couple hundred horses and the traction control 'off' button mean it can be fun



Oh, and I sold the Coupé. I cried. It's now no longer on the insurance database

[scotty73]

and a new sump because the plughole's well and truly stripped on it,

Have you tried a bigger plug? i bought a kit from the bay it comes with a tap and 6 sump plugs I've still got the rest of the kit here.

[steve_earwig]

Hello there, welcome back!

Wjat's the deal with the autism?

[mjb]

Wjat's the deal with the autism?

Urgh. He's always been weird - very "quirky" and screamy (don't think he's ever gone more than 2 waking hours without 10 mins screaming his head off), but he's not even tried to communicate since soon after his first birthday. In fact mentally, he hadn't(*) progressed at all since then.

Then the other week he got kicked out of a speech class because he won't communicate (or respond to anyone at all) and that got me looking things up. Turns out he matches pretty much every symptom of high functioning autism down to the letter and then some. Health visitor and GP both agree (without using the "a" word since they're not qualified to do so), and referred him to a specialist for diagnosis. No appointment date yet though


(*) He's started to make developmental leaps and bounds in the last fortnight, but still isn't trying to communicate. At least he'll occasionally look at me now though - very emotional the first time he actually looked at me and smiled the other day!

[teamster1975]

Good to see you Matt, I see the posts on facebook but I usually just scan the updates and rarely reply
Marcus (our middle one) has been diagnosed with Aspergers, give me a ring if you fancy a catch up, number is still the same.

[steve_earwig]

My nephew was diagnosed with assburgers, he just seems like your typical annoying teenager to me so I always worry that they like to stick these labels on kids that are in any way different. Hey, I was fascinated with fire when I was a kid, the label for that is "pyromaniac"

[Doggy]

Hi Matt, good to hear from you again.

Sorry to hear your worries over the youngster, mine had pneumonia twice in is first year and we came close to losing him, so I've some idea how it is. Hope you get your appointment soon.

Don't be a stranger, even if you're driving something else.

[Sonia406]

Your son is two and you are awaiting an appointment in the respect of a diagnosis of Autism? Err - good luck with that.
My ''autistic'' son is 9 this year and they do not diagnose autism before 6 years of age.
We however, are still waiting for that all important diagnosis.

Can't help you with the cars stuff but what I will say with the autism diagnosis: don't expect the diagnosis now because as I say, I have NEVER known any child be diagnosed THAT early into their life.........
I organized a meet for families of autistic children in legoland, I think it was 2011, so the list of contacts I have is extensive.
Good luck

[Welly]

Hi mjb!

Nice to hear from you but sorry to hear about your worries with the little lad. All you can do for now I suppose is carry on with what you are doing - being Mum & Dad

From what limited knowledge I have I understand that although hugely frustrating an Autistic child can be enormously talented - this may turn into a positive focus.

My ex-neighbour's lad was Autistic and he used to struggle to make eye contact, smashing lad he was, me being outdoors a lot would see him the most and I'd always say hello and speak to his Dad when out for a walk. The boy would always walk on tip-toes I remember and follow a precise route (a slightly raised kerb which went the whole street). I remember his Dad saying that although he was on the go all day he would actually be quite restful at night which gave them a bit of a rest etc. I guess all kids are different though there.

I was annoyed when I heard why they moved away; the Mum had become obsessed with fitness and started doing charity runs/dives/jumps etc. she changed a lot and was away a lot too...............she met some other fitness-type bloke I was annoyed because it was clear the Dad did the Lion's share of the caring and he became the victim of it all and lost the regular contact.

I worry about the number and types of illnesses kids can have these days, when I was at school in the 80's everyone was pretty much the same I think unless it was all suppressed/hidden away? certainly no-one ever had Tourettes - where did that come from?

[puggy]

Hi Matt nice to say hello again hope things improve with the little un mate .

[mjb]

I worry about the number and types of illnesses kids can have these days, when I was at school in the 80's everyone was pretty much the same I think unless it was all suppressed/hidden away? certainly no-one ever had Tourettes - where did that come from?

It's always been there. In fact, it's been pointed out that I match most of the criteria for the condition, or variant of. Of course, when I told my parents (to find out about my own early development) they were impressively dismissive. According to them, I was perfectly normal and had no social development problems at all. Haha talk about burying your head in the sand. They even told me I was talking out of my arse regarding the little one, that I was just desperate to "label" him because that's the cool thing to do nowadays apparently.

It seems use of the word "label" in such a context is a strong indicator of wilful ignorance, especially prevalent in older generations. It seems you can't ever admit to have anything wrong with your child for some reason. I bet they don't even have the slightest clue what autism is!

I think the information age is thankfully changing all this, with younger people (my generation and later for the most part) happy to accept that 'perfectly normal' is not in fact normal. Mental conditions are real, "rare" diseases/conditions are actually not that rare when modern (online) communities can be thousands in size, and above all, that being diagnosed with "something" means... really not very much compared to how previous generations see it: BROKEN. Turns out everyone's broken in some way or other, just that nobody was willing to talk about it before.

[mjb]

Your son is two and you are awaiting an appointment in the respect of a diagnosis of Autism? Err - good luck with that.
My ''autistic'' son is 9 this year and they do not diagnose autism before 6 years of age.

Got the diagnosis yesterday. Shrink, like everyone else, said it was very clear-cut - no doubts at all. Facing the very real possibility that that normal (pre)schools won't be able to cope with him...

[steve_earwig]

Sorry to hear that Matt. So, what happens now, will it be a difficult job to find a preschool that will accept him?

[Welly]

Surely this is good news? you can now move forward armed with the correct information so that you can do your best by your Son. It's going to be hard work, parenting is extremely frustrating but brilliant at the same time, I'm no professional but I guess your best course is to work with him and encourage the things he enjoys and avoid the things you know he hates.

I thought about how you replied to me before and you're right, my generation buried their heads in the sand and no-one discussed how they felt. My Father was constantly put-down by his own Father and made to feel worthless and he still carries the scars now (he's 70!) there was no help back then so if someone kept telling you you're a bad person then you end up in agreement, very sad.

Very best of luck to you all Matt, you've got a very important job ahead, the three of you.

[lozz]

one of my sons has autism diagnosed at 3 years old,
hes 19 now and leads anormal life,