and today i have mostly been...

[highlander]

OMG!

I thought this would be a fan-made spoof, not an actual episode!

[DaiRees]

Awww poor Pingu.

Cheap at half the price!

[steve_earwig]

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/cheap_at_half_the_price

[steve_earwig]

Hold on, what's that stirring in that flowerpot? Mother fu**er!

Don't care whereabouts they send me now
Send picture postcards to my old mother and father
And when I come home they'll have
Someone to be proud of
I can drive (drive)
My very own tank
Yes I can drive (drive)
My very own tank
Yes I can drive (drive)
My very own tank
Yes I can drive (drive)
My very own tank
Yes I can
Maim (maim)

[Welly]

What the actual f*ck? that's a nasty looking little f*cker.

I bet you teased it with a stick or something? checking those pincers work?

[steve_earwig]

It's a (male) stag beetle, from the pictures on Wiki I'm thinking Lucanus maculifemoratus. 12cm sounds about right, I'd have sat it in my hand for scale but, you know...

There was a stick involved yes, but only to fish it out of the flower pot - them pincers weren't coming anywhere near my fingers! After I took the pics I coaxed it into another (empty) flower pot and took it up to the compost heap, I presume it eats slugs etc. like any other beetle so it'll have a field day there.

[lozz]

Hi steve,

they is a rare species now, seen something about these critters on tv ..afew years back,
they spend 3 week ish in this form and then burrow under ground and then stay there for 7 years or so,carnt rember much of the programe,
but they is pretty impressive to watch when they is battling with another stag,

http://www.stagbeetles.co.uk/reportasighting.htm

[steve_earwig]

The survey only applies to the UK I guess they must be fairly rare here as that's the first one I've seen in 10 years, although I've seen remains of a dead one and possibly a female a few years back - huge but no pincers.

http://stagbeetle.info/lifecycle-beetles/
Looks like they spend most of their lives underground as larvae, then emerge as full-grown tanks, have an orgy (if they can find a female of their species) and die, the females burying themselves in the ground, laying eggs before dying. Seems sad for such an interesting animal.

[Rolebama]

Many years ago I had one of those hit the glass in my goggles whilst riding a motorcycle at speed. Made a disgusting mess, and I rode off home. Was stopped by the Police as they saw the mess running down my face, and they insisted the follow me to A&E.. After cleaning up, I just had a beautiful shiner, where the glass had smashed and pushed back into my face. Just a few scratches around the eyebrow area.
FWIW, there is a wood a few miles from me with a number of oak trees, and they abould there.

[steve_earwig]

Wow - I know even being hit by a bumblebee at speed hurts so I'd think you're lucky o still have an eye

Speaking of bikes...

[jonsowman]

That numberplate clearly needs to be on a 406...

[steve_earwig]

Yeah, it's an odd coincidence that, I didn't realise for quite a while too Unfortunately there's owt I can do about it from here and it'll be in the bin soon, hopefully...

[dirtydirtydiesel]

I didn't realise you were into your bikes too steve, I'll have to post up some pic's of my collection soon

[Welly]

That's very smart, I didn't think it would be so nice (and not knowing what a TDM looked like ) but I approve strongly well done!

It's a sort of Suzuki Bandit-style bike? touring? where the rider is sitting more upwards? that's the sort of thing I'd choose over a sports bike cos it looks more comfortable.

Have you been slowly adding new parts to it since you moved or was is stored and needed a damn good clean/service etc? the eggsauces look new? and the frame painted? and the eggsauce fannimold sheildy thing? in fact it looks extremely new in lots of areas.

[steve_earwig]

I didn't realise you were into your bikes too steve, I'll have to post up some pic's of my collection soon

The TDM's only been in my sig for a few years...

I've actually owned it for 16 years now, it use to be my bike for "best" as I used to commute on a KLE500, which is why it's got so few miles. Then I got knocked off of it... When I came over here I flogged the KLE and brought the TDM in the back of the van, although for the state of the roads the KLE would have been the better choice My mate I came over here was also a biker so we used to ride out, go to rallies, that sort of thing, but when he retreated from life I didn't have much use for it so it got rarely used (my wife hates the things). Finally I had a very close call and I decided that maybe riding without insurance or anything was a bad idea, so it just sat forlornly in the back of my garage, with the vague intention of importing it at some point. Then I met some bikers over here and had a reason to pull it out the garage only to find the fork seals had gone. Oh crap, how bad is the rest of it? I've spent the last 4 years gradually renewing it as funds dictate, in preparation for officially importing it (the 6 year rule doesn't apply as I've owned it for more that 10). Forks rebuilt, rear sussy rebuild with new bearings, brakes rebuilt with the front callipers off an R6 and m/cylinder off a Fazer (standard TDM 850 mod) with braided brake lines throughout. When I bought it the (pneumatic ) fuel pump was toast so I replaced it with a Facet solid state pump, but since the owner's club sourced a cheaper supply for the original I've just changed that back again. The last thing I've had done is had the seat retrimmed as the old cover had started to decompose. The only thing I haven't touched is the engine, which just got a good service.

Next up is importing the thing. At the moment I'm waiting for a statement from Yamaha to say that they actually built it (ffs 35 quid too, kerching!), then it needs to be "homogenized", which is a glorified MOT to check I didn't change it much (hmm, those calipers...) and only then will they tell me how much it'll cost to import it. The worry is it'll still need new tyres and the carbs could well do with a service but just the seals & gaskets are 30 a pop, plus I'm sure the rubbers are going to be knackered and they're 80 quid each (!), so if the import duty is too much it might all be for nothing Ah well, flog it in bits and buy something, umm, safer...