Grrrr (Long road rage rant)

[Eric]

Grrrrr.....
I hate Audi drivers and I hate my car's lack of aggression !

Got stuck in a tiny lane for a few minutes with an arrogant c**t of a Audi driver who refused to reverse back down a straight lane and made me reverse back round a blind bend in my tank.
Then the c**t passed me by without a nod or thanks!
That was after I wedged my car in the bushes so he could get past.

I wanted to smash my fist through his window and drag his throat across the broken shards - but with my rotator cuff injury I'd have hurt myself more than him and wouldn't have had the strength to punch through his window anyway.
I wanted to turn around and chase him after so I could sit on his bumper for a few miles with my hand on the horn to make myself feel better - but there's no way in hell I could turn a car the size of the QE2 in a lane that small and even if I could I didn't have the power to catch him anyway.

So in a rage I pulled away sharply but no satisfying screech of burning rubber - my car doesn't have the power to de-skin a rice pudding let alone rubber off the tyres on a dry road.

I tried redlining the car in every gear to vent, but after five minutes of foot to the boards to get near the redline and I realised I was going slower at higher revs than before.

So I had to make do with driving in to work at 50 in 2nd because that's about as good as the car will do.

Argh....
I need a fast car again that can rev, I need anger management.

I need to see that same guy at the same place tomorrow

Ok... and breathe.... I feel better now.
Maybe ranting on a forum is nearly as good for releasing stress as road rage

[steve_earwig]

It's better than kicking the cat.

I have a wee road-rage story which might lighten your mood: Mate of mine was going down a one-way street in London, in a work's van, followed by some twat in a bimmer. Twat tried to pass him but my mate wasn't having it. Then he stopped to let someone cross the road, bimmer driver lets fly with the hooter. Mate show the finger, bimmer driver starts shouting abuse. Mate gets out of car, bimmer driver closes his windows but abuse continues. Mate climbs on bonnet and punches bimmer driver's lights out through the sunroof. He was expecting a real bollocking at work but his boss was very understanding.

[Eric]

It's better than kicking the cat.

I have a wee road-rage story which might lighten your mood: Mate of mine was going down a one-way street in London, in a work's van, followed by some twat in a bimmer. Twat tried to pass him but my mate wasn't having it. Then he stopped to let someone cross the road, bimmer driver lets fly with the hooter. Mate show the finger, bimmer driver starts shouting abuse. Mate gets out of car, bimmer driver closes his windows but abuse continues. Mate climbs on bonnet and punches bimmer driver's lights out through the sunroof. He was expecting a real bollocking at work but his boss was very understanding.

lol that did make my day

[Welly]

.......and relax.

Nice one Eric. That's funny as I have had only one fit of rage in my 406 after her indoors shouted at me I went to 'race off' up the road but just made a lot of clattery noise, whistle and smoke

And you are correct - if you really thrash the HDi it will go slower than usual

The 406 therefore should be a sanctuary, a place to relax, look out on all those Audi and BMW drivers and laugh at them. Hey, I bet your day will be *a lot* better than Mr Audi's! he's probably in trouble at work for under-performance and failure to motivate his (2) staff and is about to get the heave-ho (and loose the Audi)

Someone that has tried to out-authoritise [/george bush] you with car-snobbery does not deserve your frustration but deserves your mockery IMO. They are shallow, materialistic saddo's who you would not want to be friends with if they were the last person on earth.

I like the way my car belongs to me and is paid for by me. I have been very careful with my finances over the last couple of years and think I am pretty well prepaired for what (I think) is going to be a rough ride financially for a lot of people next year

Many people who have over-stretched the budget recently will feel the pinch soon I feel, this is when we can rejoice as we sail past them in our lovely 406's

[Eric]

.......and relax.

Nice one Eric. That's funny as I have had only one fit of rage in my 406 after her indoors shouted at me I went to 'race off' up the road but just made a lot of clattery noise, whistle and smoke

And you are correct - if you really thrash the HDi it will go slower than usual

The 406 therefore should be a sanctuary, a place to relax, look out on all those Audi and BMW drivers and laugh at them. Hey, I bet your day will be *a lot* better than Mr Audi's! he's probably in trouble at work for under-performance and failure to motivate his (2) staff and is about to get the heave-ho (and loose the Audi)

Someone that has tried to out-authoritise [/george bush] you with car-snobbery does not deserve your frustration but deserves your mockery IMO. They are shallow, materialistic saddo's who you would not want to be friends with if they were the last person on earth.

I like the way my car belongs to me and is paid for by me. I have been very careful with my finances over the last couple of years and think I am pretty well prepaired for what (I think) is going to be a rough ride financially for a lot of people next year

Many people who have over-stretched the budget recently will feel the pinch soon I feel, this is when we can rejoice as we sail past them in our lovely 406's

That's quite a healthy viewpoint you have there sir

But there's still nothing better for venting road rage than an engine bouncing off the limiter at 7k and smoke pouring off the tyres.
Lunching forwards in a blaze of tyre smoke and testosterone, then brakes sharp enough to pull your eyes out of their sockets and handling that allows you to corner at blackout inducing g-forces

The 406 refused to satiate me with it's luxury because I needed aggression and adrenaline.

Still when I get back in the car tonight, it will be comfy and relaxing and I'll have a gentle stroll home and all will be well again

[wes1001]

Lunching forwards in a blaze of tyre smoke and testosterone, then brakes sharp enough to pull your eyes out of their sockets and handling that allows you to corner at blackout inducing g-forces

Get a bike , apart from a 19 year old swedish blonde nymphet, it's the best stress reliever i know. Short of a hyper car or another bike, nothing else on the road will come close to even a 600cc.

[Captain Jack]

Everyone is a twat on the roads. Yesterday, I was driving to work at 6am when some arsehole in his "sales-rep" 07 plate Mondeo stuck to my rear bumper. He must have been no more than 2 cms away from it (I couldn't even see the end of his bonnet, let alone his headlights). So, coming off the roundabout I tapped the brake a little so that he'd f**k off my backside. At this point he started hooting his horn and flashing lights at me. My reply to this intellectually sterile imbecile was a wound down window and a middle middle. That seemed to anger him even more and he started his frenzy of light flashing. As we were coming up to a dual carriage way, I thought I'd let him overtake and switch my full beam on (there was noone else on the road at this time). But no, he slowed down to 50 mph and got left behind. I guess he knew what was coming.

But, damn, what a twat. All the new cars are inevitably company cars driven by irritable sales reps who really deserve to be lined up against a plain white wall and have their internals splattered against it.

With me spending up to 2 hours in the car every day, I don't even need to be at work to feel the stress. I may as well drive to work, turn around, drive back home and I am gonna feel like I've worked the whole day. Thankfully my job isn't too demanding.......


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Welly]

I have a theory here......

Your average modern car (repmobile) has very high levels of grip and traction, precise steering and a decent chassis. These things make the car easy to throw around at fast speeds and the car just sorts all the mess out for you (or without you knowing).

My point then is that you don't have to be 'The Stig' to drive pretty fast these days, in fact any numpty can pilot one of these cars and feel like they are a driving God!

Put them in a 406, which you have to drive properly yourself, and they would be all over the shop.

I read somewhere that newish drivers would crash constantly if it weren't for 'driver aids' and their cars are working overtime everytime they go round a roundabout etc just to stop the thing from wiping out! They, of course, think it is their ubber-driving which kept the car on track......REALLY WORRYING!!!!

[mbell666]

Everyone is a twat on the roads. Yesterday, I was driving to work at 6am when some arsehole in his "sales-rep" 07 plate Mondeo stuck to my rear bumper. He must have been no more than 2 cms away from it (I couldn't even see the end of his bonnet, let alone his headlights).

This is normally when i decide my screen and headlights are a little dirty and need washing, people don't tend to tail gate if they can't see where they are going.

Normally takes a couple of go before people reliase tailgate=wet screen and no visibility

[TooT]

Must be road rage day. I was stuck behind some day-dreaming muppet this afternoon, and i was feeling the same as you Eric, i just wanted get hold of the driver and put my fist through his face.
Picture the scene, we have all been there. Fast 60mph A road sweeping through the countryside with not many straights to overtake. Dozy old git in a 407SW (reg KP06 VVE oh yes i remembered it) doing 40mph. This dick is being followed by a guy in a Sprinter with a red face and blood at boiling point (me) and approxmatly another 30 cars, buses, trucks for around about 19 miles.

Not once did he speed up or get the f*ck out of everyones way. Not all of us have got all day to pootle along. If i was a traffic cop i would of pulled him over and slapped him with 3 points for dangerous driving.

AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG

[mjb]

My commutes used to be lovely and relaxing for the most part, but now they're painful. Just today I had to take emergency action twice - once when someone cut me up on a roundabout and again when someone (with perfect visibility of the road) decides to pull out RIGHT in front of me. It's the same every day... Yesterday I had someone try to change lanes despite the fact my giant sodding estate was already where they wanted to be, and had been for a couple of minutes!!! WTF is up with these people?

And of course my insurance premium is now a fraction of the price because of the drastically reduced mileage. WTF?

[V6Exec]

I find that there is a nice antidote to the tailgater.

http://www.wikicrimeline.co.uk/index.ph ... r_distress

A handsfree and a call to 999 will get them sorted out