Me too. If your not too far away, I could have a look. PM me if you're stuck.teamster1975 wrote:supafrisk wrote:I had no light in the bathroom for 6 months (ground floor rear of house) until I repaired a socket in the daughter's bedroom that was faulty (bedroom extension above kitchen between main house and bathroom). Fixed the socket, and hey presto, I got my light back
So they've tagged the lights on the ring main as a spur?!?!?!
It's a shame you're so far away, my other job is as a sparks
Email jokes from my bro.
Moderator: Moderators
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Doggy
- Mod with a 2.2 HDi, De-Fapped!
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Re: Email jokes from my bro.
2002 HDi 2.2 Exec Estate, (2008-12) (wonderful)
2003 HDi 2.2 6-speed Exec Estate (2012-19) (also a gem)
2009 Citroen C5 2.0 HDi VTR+ Estate (godawful heap)
2008 BMW E91 330i touring (great fun - murdered by a reversing SUV)
2007 BMW E91 325i touring (slower smoother quieter)
2003 HDi 2.2 6-speed Exec Estate (2012-19) (also a gem)
2009 Citroen C5 2.0 HDi VTR+ Estate (godawful heap)
2008 BMW E91 330i touring (great fun - murdered by a reversing SUV)
2007 BMW E91 325i touring (slower smoother quieter)
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Welly
- The moderator formally known as Welton
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- Location: East Midlandfordshire
Re: Email jokes from my bro.
Phwoahhh..........Soops all wet and soapy 
You want to hold on to 5% retention off there quote (or at least say you will do) before they leave so that they complete everything they quoted for.
Once they go it'll be hard to get them back.
You ought to see the contractural terms we have to work under commercially (the client is most definately king) we've got a job in London at the moment and if we don't finish on time we'll be levied charges of £30,000.00 per week for non completion (liquidated damages)
You want to hold on to 5% retention off there quote (or at least say you will do) before they leave so that they complete everything they quoted for.
Once they go it'll be hard to get them back.
You ought to see the contractural terms we have to work under commercially (the client is most definately king) we've got a job in London at the moment and if we don't finish on time we'll be levied charges of £30,000.00 per week for non completion (liquidated damages)
Cars in my care:
2021 Kia Spottage 1.6 Pez Turbo Dual Clutch Gearbox Trickery
2013 Renner Twingo - donkey work
2021 Kia Spottage 1.6 Pez Turbo Dual Clutch Gearbox Trickery
2013 Renner Twingo - donkey work
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teamster1975
- Site Admin & Mad Biker!
- Posts: 6277
- Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2007 8:07 pm
- Location: Woking, Surrey
Re: Email jokes from my bro.
Just been sent this one 
1996 406 1.8LX Got a bad case of hydro lock!
1996 406 Executive 2.0 Turbo XU10J2TE No longer hangin' on in there
1997 Honda CB500V
2003 Volvo V40 1.8 GDi SE killed by a nutter in a beemer 5 series
2008 Mondeo 2.0 TDCi Titanium X
"Always look on the bright side of life, dedo, dedo dedodedo"
1996 406 Executive 2.0 Turbo XU10J2TE No longer hangin' on in there
1997 Honda CB500V
2003 Volvo V40 1.8 GDi SE killed by a nutter in a beemer 5 series
2008 Mondeo 2.0 TDCi Titanium X
"Always look on the bright side of life, dedo, dedo dedodedo"
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Doggy
- Mod with a 2.2 HDi, De-Fapped!
- Posts: 10710
- Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:49 pm
- Location: Northants
Re: Email jokes from my bro.
Absolute Classic Teamy
2002 HDi 2.2 Exec Estate, (2008-12) (wonderful)
2003 HDi 2.2 6-speed Exec Estate (2012-19) (also a gem)
2009 Citroen C5 2.0 HDi VTR+ Estate (godawful heap)
2008 BMW E91 330i touring (great fun - murdered by a reversing SUV)
2007 BMW E91 325i touring (slower smoother quieter)
2003 HDi 2.2 6-speed Exec Estate (2012-19) (also a gem)
2009 Citroen C5 2.0 HDi VTR+ Estate (godawful heap)
2008 BMW E91 330i touring (great fun - murdered by a reversing SUV)
2007 BMW E91 325i touring (slower smoother quieter)
Re: Email jokes from my bro.
Absoloutley brilliant teamy !!!! and hasn't that karen got the sort
of face that you could happily punch day after day
and hasn't that karen got the sortof face that you could happily punch day after day
.. ooh are those drugs for me Matron
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DaiRees
- Site Admin
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- Location: Merthyr Tydfil, South Wales (God's Country!)
Re: Email jokes from my bro.
After what that bitch did repetetive eternal face punching is way to nice
Playtime_Fontayne wrote:"Dai Rees Supplier of Fine Automobilia. Established 2007"
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steve_earwig
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Re: Email jokes from my bro.
Fido Dido says sterilze them.
Unskilled meddling sin©e 2007
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steve_earwig
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Re: Email jokes from my bro.
Bluddy cowboys! Are they anything to do with these people? http://www.nfrc.co.uk/ Or something similar? If not, take plenty of pics and sue the nuts off them. Didn't you say the quote included pointing the chimneys? Is it in writing? (he asked hopefully)
The fies are probably finding somewhere warm to spend the winter, presumably via the hole you can see.
Are they anything to do with these people? http://www.nfrc.co.uk/ Or something similar? If not, take plenty of pics and sue the nuts off them. Didn't you say the quote included pointing the chimneys? Is it in writing? (he asked hopefully)The fies are probably finding somewhere warm to spend the winter, presumably via the hole you can see.
Unskilled meddling sin©e 2007
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teamster1975
- Site Admin & Mad Biker!
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- Location: Woking, Surrey
Re: Email jokes from my bro.
Sounds like a roofing firm around my area. They were on Watchdog a few months ago for doing exactly the same and they're still in business with brand new vans 
The "not my fault/problem" mentality really pisses me off
Sue the bastards!
The "not my fault/problem" mentality really pisses me off
Sue the bastards!
1996 406 1.8LX Got a bad case of hydro lock!
1996 406 Executive 2.0 Turbo XU10J2TE No longer hangin' on in there
1997 Honda CB500V
2003 Volvo V40 1.8 GDi SE killed by a nutter in a beemer 5 series
2008 Mondeo 2.0 TDCi Titanium X
"Always look on the bright side of life, dedo, dedo dedodedo"
1996 406 Executive 2.0 Turbo XU10J2TE No longer hangin' on in there
1997 Honda CB500V
2003 Volvo V40 1.8 GDi SE killed by a nutter in a beemer 5 series
2008 Mondeo 2.0 TDCi Titanium X
"Always look on the bright side of life, dedo, dedo dedodedo"
-
DaiRees
- Site Admin
- Posts: 5377
- Joined: Sat Aug 06, 2005 8:24 am
- Location: Merthyr Tydfil, South Wales (God's Country!)
Re: Email jokes from my bro.
As someone who's currently getting quotes for an extension, I'm really not being filled with confidence by this conversation..... 
Playtime_Fontayne wrote:"Dai Rees Supplier of Fine Automobilia. Established 2007"
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teamster1975
- Site Admin & Mad Biker!
- Posts: 6277
- Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2007 8:07 pm
- Location: Woking, Surrey
Re: Email jokes from my bro.
Do as Welly suggested and hold off on the balance until you're completely happy with the work!DaiRees wrote:As someone who's currently getting quotes for an extension, I'm really not being filled with confidence by this conversation.....
1996 406 1.8LX Got a bad case of hydro lock!
1996 406 Executive 2.0 Turbo XU10J2TE No longer hangin' on in there
1997 Honda CB500V
2003 Volvo V40 1.8 GDi SE killed by a nutter in a beemer 5 series
2008 Mondeo 2.0 TDCi Titanium X
"Always look on the bright side of life, dedo, dedo dedodedo"
1996 406 Executive 2.0 Turbo XU10J2TE No longer hangin' on in there
1997 Honda CB500V
2003 Volvo V40 1.8 GDi SE killed by a nutter in a beemer 5 series
2008 Mondeo 2.0 TDCi Titanium X
"Always look on the bright side of life, dedo, dedo dedodedo"
-
steve_earwig
- Moderator
- Posts: 19813
- Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2007 6:09 pm
- Location: Jastrebarsko, Croatia http://www.jastrebarsko.hr/lokacija/
Re: Email jokes from my bro.
Unskilled meddling sin©e 2007
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rapport25
- 3.0 24v
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- Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2006 9:31 pm
- Location: either in my Audi SQ5+, X- trail Aventura or Mini Cooper Cab
Re: Email jokes from my bro.
WELL WORTH A READ
Dear Friends,
As we move closer to the end of another year I wanted to thank you for all the e-mails you have forwarded to me over the past year. I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about ratshit in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258thtime. But that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill GatesandMicrosoft are sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split seven million dollars with me for pretending to be along lost relative of a customer who died intestate. And I need no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214angels looking out for me. I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven friends and make a wish within five minutes. I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat whenI 'm filling up. I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me witha food sample and rob me. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and then I'll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda ,Singapore and Uzbekistan . I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum. I can't even pick up the five quid I found dropped in the car park because it was probably put there by a crazed axe murderer waiting under my car to grab my leg. If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next,10 minutes, a large pelican with an acute case of diarrhoea will sh*t on your head and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,causing you to grow a most unsightly hairy hump. I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in- law's second husband's cousin's plumber -and it was on Good Morning Australia. By the way.... did you know that a South American scientist has,after a lengthy study, discovered that people with low IQs who,don't have enough sex, always read their emails while holding the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. Regards, Your friend
Dear Friends,
As we move closer to the end of another year I wanted to thank you for all the e-mails you have forwarded to me over the past year. I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about ratshit in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258thtime. But that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill GatesandMicrosoft are sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split seven million dollars with me for pretending to be along lost relative of a customer who died intestate. And I need no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214angels looking out for me. I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven friends and make a wish within five minutes. I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat whenI 'm filling up. I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me witha food sample and rob me. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and then I'll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda ,Singapore and Uzbekistan . I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum. I can't even pick up the five quid I found dropped in the car park because it was probably put there by a crazed axe murderer waiting under my car to grab my leg. If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next,10 minutes, a large pelican with an acute case of diarrhoea will sh*t on your head and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,causing you to grow a most unsightly hairy hump. I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in- law's second husband's cousin's plumber -and it was on Good Morning Australia. By the way.... did you know that a South American scientist has,after a lengthy study, discovered that people with low IQs who,don't have enough sex, always read their emails while holding the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. Regards, Your friend